Biggest poo pile ever

This weekend I noticed Honeywiese climbing up on the horse manure pile. I wondered what he was doing, as I had never seen him go up there before. Then he lifted his tail and started going potty. Apparently he now figures the entire manure pile is one of his dung piles.

Good boy!

My Wine

I have finally found the perfect wine.


Thanksgiving dinner will never be the same.

Assumptions

I've discovered it at last - the place where all assumptions come from...

and where they go to die.

Eating the State Fair

How To Eat Your Way Across The MN State Fair in 12 Queasy Steps

I’m not entirely proud to admit it, but Pappa Bear and I ate our way across the MN State Fair recently. Nine straight hours of walking and eating.

Let me preface this little adventure by explaining to you the foods I no longer eat, on any kind of regular basis:
• Processed carbs (white sugar, white flour, white rice)
• Fake foods (you know, anything made by Monsanto, anything with MSG, anything made with fake chemical sweeteners)
• CAFO meat (Concentrated Animal Feeding Organization – i.e., feedlot)
• And did I mention, Sugar? Too much sugar gives me eye migraines – those dizzying lines across your vision; makes me nauseous; and makes me fall asleep instantly.
• Fried foods - especially those fried in transfat oils
• GMO corn products (Genetically Modified Corn – found in nearly all processed/pre-made meals & snacks, everything from ketchup to cereal to fast food hamburgers).

I find this list of “non-eats” oddly amusing in light of what we each put away that day. The stars are our informal rating system based on nothing other than our “gut” feeling of how it tasted to us at that moment. We split everything except the Hotdish-on-a-stick.

Step One & Two: Hotdish OAS*** & UffDa Treat****

Why does the staff at Ole’s not look the least bit Scandinavian? Hmmm…


It all started innocently enough at the Ole & Lena’s stand near the horse barn, where for breakfast we each got a serving of Hotdish On A Stick (which we will abbreviate from here on as OAS), a combination of (CAFO) meatballs and tater-tots (GMO) corn-breaded and deep fried (probably in GMO corn oil), with a side of cream of (MSG) mushroom sauce, and chased those down by splitting an UffDa! treat, a filled krumkake topped with caramel sauce and butter roasted pecans. The name says it all, folks. UffDa! The Hotdish OAS wasn’t as good as I remembered – probably because we’ve given up eating most GMO, MSG, fried foods and they just don’t taste as good once you’ve weaned yourself off of all those excitotoxins.

(Sorry we were so hungry when we got there – skipped breakfast – that I accidentally forgot to take pics of the food before we wolfed it all down. Trust me when I say the UffDa treat looked as good as it tasted.)

We should have just quit and gone home here, and we’d have been pretty full and happy, with our quota of unhealthy oils and fake foods fulfilled.

To make room and kill some time before our next feast, we headed over to the animal barns. I’ll save my salivation over small breed rabbits for another post coming soon – I think this post will get waayy too longer otherwise. But just to give you a “taste” of what is to come on that post…

This little guy or gal was in a very large cage that had a card stating it was a Flemish English Giant. I think not.


Anyway, back to eating the fair.


Step Three: Gator OAS****

PB wasn’t feeling quite as adventurous as I was, but I figured after the last two years of eating mostly locally-raised bison and emu, why couldn’t I try something even more exotic - Bayou Bob’s ‘Gator OAS! I opted out of the deep fried this time. What I got was something resembling a bratwurst, on a stick, which tasted a lot like… a bratwurst! It was very good actually, nothing like I expected it to be.

To wash down this exotic treat, of which PB had only one bite, we walked a short distance to a place sure to delight PB, our resident gourmet cheesecake maker.


Step Four: Deep Fried Cheesecake OAS****

Granny’s Cheesecake & More offers a variety of fried or dipped, cheesecake & fruit items. Those of you who were watching our updates via Facebook on Sunday already know – this was Stop #1 of 2 at this stand that day. First visit, PB opted for Deep Fried Cheesecake, OAS of course. It was, in a word, YUM. (Sorry, no picture again – ate it too fast!).


Step Five: Fried Fruit OAS Sundae****

Although we had by now definitely had our fill of both sugar and fried items, we noticed another stand close to this one selling Fried Fruit OAS. We justified stopping here since there would be some real fruit in the equation. We pondered over whether or not to add ice cream and make it a “Fried Fruit OAS Sundae.” You can see the results. Is fruit, covered in batter, deep fried and eaten with ice cream, a healthy snack? We’re saying yes.


Step Six: Teriyaki Ostrich OAS***

By now we were famished and ready for some real food. I’d like to say we went home now, and came back the next day to continue this feeding frenzy. But alas…

For our next eating adventure we braved The Food Building, where approximately 100,000 of the 130,000 people attending the fair that day were crushed into a wriggling mass of queue’s waiting to order or receive their food from one of a twenty or so food vendors. It was hot, it was crowded. But once we finally made our way to the China Town booth we were happy to find no lines at all. Just this goofy guy in an ostrich costume.


And this goofy guy eating Ostrich OAS.


Although we love emu and have eaten it almost exclusively for the past year in place of ground beef, we were not so impressed with the Ostrich OAS. Maybe it was the teriyaki sauce. Maybe it was PB dumping the plate on the floor shortly after this photo was taken. At any rate, we would sure try another ostrich item sometime in the future, but probably not this one. And especially not the one we dumped on the floor.

We did, finally, take a break from eating at this point and wandered through Machinery Hill. There were tractors and trailers and trucks and machines of all sizes and models. We were particularly interested in trailers, and specifically, this one – a 7’x29’ drive-in/drive-out toy hauler that we’re fairly certain would make a really nice mobile workshop for PB, while also being usable as an animal hauler if we put in a few windows and attached some panels.


I would like to report that right around this point in time, I started to crash. All of that sugar and grease and carbs and fake stuff just got the best of me. I had to sit on a bench for a long time with glazed eyes, watching the fair goers wandering by. PB took this opportunity to more thoroughly explore Machinery Hill and all of its goodies. I’m sure I was also somewhat dehydrated (even though we were frequently filling our water bottles) and it was getting very warm, around 90 degrees. I was happy to sit on the shady bench and just wait. While I was sitting there I happened to notice…

Step Seven: Texas Tater Twister OAS***

It was on PB’s food list for the day (yes, we had reviewed all 300+ food vendors on the fair’s website the day before so we’d have a complete list of all the food items we wanted to try) and even though we were far, far from hungry, we opted to try one while we were in the area. We just got the regular, not with a hotdog in the middle. It basically tasted like potato chips. Another item we won’t need to repeat.


Our eating momentum had really slowed down by now, so we took some time to look at more trailers and the exhibits of gazebos, cabins and Adirondack furniture on display by http://northwoodoutdoor.com/ Northwood Industries of Hayward, WI. This was one of our favorite exhibits, from the itty-bitty cabins to the very comfortable lawn furniture – they had regular chairs (folding!), gliders, rockers, even a tall chair they called a Lifeguard chair. They were made of recycled plastic and came in all sorts of fun colors. Never have to paint them, and water-proof!


PB spent a fair amount of time drooling over the grills and outdoor stoves. This one was custom-made for a fire department – check out the axe-as-handle!


Unbelievable as it may sound, after leaving the grill/Adirondack area, we just happened to stumble upon another concession vendor from our food list…

Step Eight & Nine: Salmon OAS* & Elk Burger*****

Giggles Campfire Grill, where we ordered some “real food,” Salmon OAS and an elk burger. I didn’t expect the salmon to be cold, or served with an odd sauce on top. I love salmon, but didn’t care for this manifestation of it. The elk burger, however, was YUMMER! NOM! SCRUMPDILLYICIOUS! A definite repeat for our next visit to the fair.




After this round, I was starting to feel a bit nauseous. The elk burger was fantastic, but the heat and 8 hours on our feet and the heat and all the other crappy food we ate and the heat and dehydration and the heat and all the sugar and the heat were really starting to take a toll. We needed something cold. More than cold, frozen. I just so happened around this time we were wandering past the Farmer’s Union food stand which happened to serve…

Step Ten: Frozen Mocha OAS****


Delightfully chocolatey mocha-ey frozeny goodness. On a stick!


We both perked up after sitting in the shade behind this building, eating our frozen concoction. But we were still pretty stinkin’ hot. And thirsty. Despite many bottles of water consumed. PB thought maybe our heat and thirst would be best quenched with…

Step 11: Pina Colada Smoothie*****


This was another scrumpdillyicious treat. Very cold. Very smooth. Very satisfying. And, probably the healthiest thing we consumed all day, being 100% fruit (pineapple + banana) with some coconut milk mixed in for a healthy fat.

I was done now. Aching to get back to the bus that would take us to our car. Dead tired, over-stuffed, over-heated (although cooled off a bit by the smoothie). But, PB had one more trick up his sleeve.

He just had to return to a concession from earlier in the day…

Step Twelve: Frozen Dipped (chocolate) Cheesecake OAS

Granny’s Cheesecake was the hands-down winner Sunday with our last treat of the day – Frozen Dipped Cheesecake OAS.


It don’t get no better than this, folks. We’ll skip the deep-fried cheesecake next year. And the Ostrich OAS. And the Salmon OAS. And the Hotdish OAS. And the Texas Tater Twister OAS. But I can almost guarantee we’ll be revisiting this devilishly delightful goodness next time. With a side of elk burger. UffDa!

1967 Ford F250 and 1960 Shasta Travel Trailer

Within the past week I've happened across the perfect couple - a ligtht yellow 1967 Ford F250 pickup truck, and a yellow 1960 Shasta Travel Trailer.

Wouldn't this combo just look sweet hauling down the road?

Happy Trails -

1974 VW Beetle & Camper

Check out this hilarious video. I want one of these combos!!!

1974 VW Beetle & Camper

Queen Victoria

You do all know I was named after a queen, right? This sign says it all.

Smallest Town Yet

I had to smile when I drove by the Mayer, MN population sign the other day. This is, decidedly, the smallest town I've ever lived in.

Cheers -

Signs that make me laugh

I don't know why I always find this sign so amusing. And disturbing.

Architecture

There are so many shops and buildings that make me smile. Here is one of them, located in the heart of the little town of Lake Nebagamon, WI.



Ain't that just cayute? Happy Wednesday!

Love Thursday

Ok, so I did not make up the title for today. It is borrowed from one of my favorite photo-bloggers, Chookoolooks, and every Thursday is Love Thursday on her blog.

Today (Love Thursday!), she posted this lovely quote:

"When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them."

~ Martin Buber

Wow. Love Thursday, everyone!

Slingo

Yesterday while I was carting my 20-something-carless-daughter around from home to work and work to other work and other work to home, we had ample opportunity to catch up. I hadn't seen much of her when I was on the road, so we had some catching up to do.

What I didn't realize was that she had come up with an entirely new language while I was away. Something her and her friends all understand, but leaves the rest of us scratching our heads, puzzling over her Facebook messages.

So there she was animatedly chatting away when she casually drops the phrase "Mackin' on my Koolaid" into the conversation.

Wha???

"Oh, yeah, our Slingo? We make up words all the time."

Wha??? Slingo?

So, here to decipher for you, lest your teenager come down with the same malady, is my interpretation:

Slingo - Slang + Lingo

Mackin' - Smoochin' or lovin'

Koolaid - Your sweetie or object of desire

Therefore, "Mackin' on yer Koolaid" means smooching with your sweetie.

What can I say? It all makes sense now. Tonight after work, she's going to get dolled up and go hang with her Koolaid.

They're not dating tho, so there'll be no mackin'.

Cheers -
Victoria

Why God Doesn't Want Me To Do The Checkbook Today

We are 3 months behind in entering stuff in our checkbook software program, Microsoft Money. Recently, I spent exactly 3 months working from CO. Coincidence? I think not.

Fortunately, all of our bills are on “auto-pay,” so we don’t have to sit down and pay our bills every week. They just pay themselves, as long as there is cash in the bank. We have automatic paycheck deposits, too.

Cool, eh?

But over the course of 3 months, there is a lot of paperwork piling up that still needs to be dealt with.

Like all those miscellaneous purchases that occur every week. Gas. Food. Groceries. Hair dye. Bikini Wax. You know, the essentials.

Over three months time, those purchases add up. Takes a lot of wax to keep PB’s back hairless, ya know? Just kidding. He doesn’t wax his back. Yet.

Do you know how much inertia you need to overcome to even consider tackling the checkbook after three months of ignoring it?

More energy than I usually have for an entire day of tasks.

More energy than I have had the last three weeks I’ve been home from CO.

But today I was in a cleaning/fixing mood (something that happens so rarely, I really need to take advantage of it when it flits through) and I finally convinced myself it would be OK to take a very small quick peek at it.

First I had to organize all of the bill statements. Alphabetically and by date, since I have multiple months from every utility and bill company.

Then I had to log into the money program on the home PC. I had not accessed it from my login since Papp Bear last messed with (or, as he refers to, “re-deranged”) things on the PC, so of course the shortcut link to the program did not work.

So I Skyped (is that a real verb? How about, IM’d?) PB a message asking how to access the program.

And waited.

And waited.

Then I texted PB a message. He texted back: “Skype”

Yeah, duh, already did that! You didn’t respond!

So (via Skype IM) he walked me through how to access the program, and I took my pile of utility bills in a big ‘ol stack and set them in front of my keyboard and was going to begin, when I remembered I also have to have USBank up, to look at the transactions as they hit the bank, to verify them against what my software program says it is going to enter for me.

So I opened up an internet browser window.

Then remembered our internet was broken.

So I called Frontier. Got through immediately – wow!

The Helpline person told me to unplug the modem. We had already rebooted it and left it sitting for several minutes, so I didn’t see how this would help. But sure enough, after plugging it back in, the darn DSL light lit up and so did the internet light, and I had internet access for oh, about, 2 minutes, just long enough to hang up the phone with that rep.

So I called right back – and got a recorded message that the wait time would now be 10 minutes.

It was 13 minutes.

And they couldn’t help me. They have to send out a tech. Some time between now and 24 hours from now.

At which time I will no longer have the energy or desire to do the checkbook anymore.

God must not want me to do the checkbook today.

Thanks, God. I owe ya one.

Things that made me smile today

I admit, I was kinda cranky today. It all started with the financial drama of my almost-out-of-the-house-20-year-old-child. And assorted other child-related messes, physical and mental and emotional.

Added to that stress was work stress - internet was broken (thank goodness for my Mifi card!), my server connection to a client site broke, and communications with my work team were nonexistent despite several attempts on my part.

I was a cranky lady when I left the house to go pick up my car-less child from Forest Lake, 20 minutes away.

But after I picked her up, we stopped at the local whole foods type grocery store, where I am a frequent customer, and the lady at the register asked me if C-baby was my little sister. Oh Joy! I could have hugged her!

And then at the farm today, after scooping a wheelbarrow full of dung, I stopped and watched Betty hose off the girls, who are all still fully fleeced and very uncomfortably hot. They love the hose, like little kids love hoses & water. It was a hoot.

And then I watched the two babies born this year chasing and romping around the pasture.

I drove the back roads to go get my car-less child after I was done at the farm, and marveled at the emerald green fields everywhere I went. First crop of hay is being harvested at some farms. I want to learn how to cut and rake and bale hay. Does anyone out there need a hand with this task?

I also had a good laugh with C-baby over some of the "slingo" her and her friends have come up with lately - I'll post about that very soon. You'll find out what "Mackin' with yer Koolaid" means. So stay tuned on that one.

And then, just now, I checked one of my favorite blogger sites, Pioneer Woman, and she had literally JUST POSTED her daily Confessions blog - and I was able to comment as number eleven!!! Make that, number seventeen - in the 3 seconds it took me to post my comment, 6 others had been posted, too. I mean, number 19... once the page refreshed, I was bumped to 19. But still, this is a site the frequently receives hundreds if not thousands of comments/day (her giveaway posts exceed 30,000 comments!), so making the top twenty of any of her posts on any given day is no small achievement.

I know, I live a small and pathetic life. I have to look for the good where I can find it, when surrounded by child financial drama and work excommunication.

At any rate, I did smile today, several times, despite my tantrums and stress frazzles. And now, I am going to go make these. And all will be well with the world.

Smiles -
Victoria

Phenomenal

Pappa Bear and I were hanging out on a Friday night recently, walking across the parking lot to grab a bite to eat at the The Blue Ox, before heading to the theater to watch Iron Man 2, and he randomly came up with this line:

"I put the 'minimal' in Phenominal."

But I think what he meant was, he puts the "Fun" in "Funomenal."

What do you think?

Cheers -
Victoria

Splink!

A few months ago, Pappa Bear and I decided that we needed to come up with a new word, something to describe what happens when we sit down at the computer with the intention of looking for something in particular, and then, several hours and dozens of sites later, come out of our daze and realize we never did find what we were looking for because we followed a link from the first search results onto a completely different topic... and from that topic, another link, to another site and topic... and another, and another... kind of like a slinky falling down a long flight of stairs.

So in honor of this, we coined a new word: Splink!

Let's compare it to a Slinky:

Wiki:
Slinky: a toy consisting of a helical spring that can travel down stairs end-over-end as it stretches and reforms itself with the aid of gravity and its own momentum.

Vicki:
Splinking: a web-surfing activity consisting of a tendency to follow tangentially related hyperlinks away from the topic or site of original interest, causing one to travel from one internet site to another, as the splinker’s thoughts stretch and reform themselves with the aid of distraction and their own momentum.

Latin – from the words Split + Link

Verb: Splinking
Past Tense: Splinked
Noun: Splinker
Plural: Splinks

Example: “What did you do all afternoon on the computer?” “Well, I went looking for brass doornobs, and then I splinked all over the place, ending up watching American Idol try-outs on YouTube.”

You've all done it. Admit it. But now, you have a word for this behavior. And anything you can identify, well, you can explain to your therapist.

Ooh - that reminds me, I need to go lookup up the average amount of rainfall that is needed to grow good Orchardgrass...

Happy Splinking!

Saving Batman

I Saved Batman Today

It’s not every day you get to save a superhero. But today, I was the heroine that saved Batman.

Let me explain.

I was on the dock down at the lake near my house, loading my kayak onto my portage wheels, strapping it down good in preparation for the walk back up to my house. I wasn’t really paying any attention to anything except getting those straps on right – you really don’t want the wheels to come loose when you’re hauling your very beloved carbon-composite kayak up a hill to your house half a mile away.

Well, you don’t really want your wheels to come loose under any circumstance I would imagine. But back to the dock.

I’m still not sure what it was that made me look around today – maybe the garbled noise that sounded like someone talking under water. I thought I could just make out a voice saying “Hbeleblep Mebepebeeeee….” or something like that.

So I stood up and looked around. I didn’t see anything at first. I scanned the water near the shoreline. That’s when I caught sight of him – Batman was drowning!



I didn’t waste any time after I spotted him. I was down off that dock lickety-split. I don’t know what sound a heroine makes when she moves super-fast, but I bet it sounds a lot like “lickety-split.”

I could just barely reach his foot without getting my own foot wet (always best to keep your feet dry in a rescue if at all possible), but finally I got a hold of it and began to lift him up.

Well, after I stopped to take a couple of pictures of course. Otherwise, who’d ever believe I rescued Batman?





His predicament appeared to be caused by a load of sand and gravel trapped in his cape, keeping him under the water. I suspect the Joker had a hand in this. Note to self: When performing Feats of Superhuman Bat Strength, Beware the Cape.



After dislodging all the debris holding him down, Batman was then able to struggle through the weeds and get himself back to shore.



He seemed relieved to be back on dry land again.



I was hoping Christian Bales might take off his costume and give his heroine a proper “thank-you” for rescuing him.

But, alas, no such luck.

E2 Emu Ranch

A trip to visit Beth at E2 Emu Ranch, Shafer, MN today, in order to see the baby emu chicks while they're still in the striped bowling pin phase. Too cute!

Cheers -
Victoria

Ride 'em Cowboy

Sign seen at Peterson's Country Mill in North Branch, MN:

Customer Service with a Smile

Recently I spent 3 months living at the Holiday Inn Express in Brighton, CO while I worked at Platte Valley Hospital. The staff at this hotel were incredibly friendly and accommodating. During my stay I had to ask the Maint. department to fix my shower head. Not only did they complete the task efficiently and effectively (no dirty footprints in the shower even!), Brent left me a hand-drawn note which left me smiling.

If you're ever in Brighton, check out this hotel. Tell Kitty or Kathy or Dawn or Krystyn or Nathan that I sent you.

Cheers -

Hot Chic

Last night Kelly was going to stop and pick up some groceries on his way home from work, and he needed the list of what we were out of at home. So I typed it into my iPhone and e-mailed it to him.

A little while later, he texted me back wondering where to pick up the "hot chic." Apparently the spell check on my phone had changed it from "hot choc" to "hot chic."

Things that make you go hmmmm...

I am sitting here pondering the quandary I have created by painting my toenails, which are still wet and need to stay in those funny toe-thingers until they dry, with less than 5 minutes left on the load in the washing machine... which is located on the 2nd floor of the hotel, whereas, I reside on the third floor... hmmm...

Two Peas

I have come to the conclusion that Kelly and Ciara are like two peas in an iPod.

Meet the Nommers - Part III of III

We didn't plan on having any more cats after Big Nom & Little Nom. In fact, Pappa Bear and I had agreed, "No more cats until we buy a farm." Then we would splurge and have a bunch of barn cats to catch the mice in the hayloft, and leave kittens strewn around for the visiting children to take home in their luggage.

Until C-baby suddenly moved back home, after her second attempt at living on her own, after adopting not one, but TWO barn cats from her friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend.


I distinctly remember having this chat with her when she moved out this last time:

V: "No cats! No dogs, either!"

C: "Yes mom."

V: "Good. You didn't take care of the last cat you adopted, at the first place you lived."

C: "Yeah yeah yeah."

That lasted about a week. Until her and her deathly allergic roommate visited a farm and her roommate decided that, hmmm, maybe she wasn't so deathly allergic after all, and wouldn't matching kittens, one black tabby, one brown, one for each of them, just be the bomb?

And so my dear daughter left the farm that day with two kittens in her luggage (darn it, those farmers must’ve had the same plan we have!).

Thus, Zoey & Romeo took up residence in C-baby's apartment. MUCH to my disapproval. Don't ever think that your 19-year-old-living-on-her-own daughter will listen to anything you say. Let me save you that disappointment right here and now.

So yeah, Zoey & Romeo lived happily ever after with C-baby. Until her roommate decided that, hmmm, maybe she was deathly allergic to cats after all. And hmmm, maybe she and C-baby should just get in a big fight over getting rid of the cats (would that be a cat-fight?), so C-baby would move out. And maybe C-baby would show up on our doorstep at 5:00am one morning with a kennel full of kittens.

So yeah, Zoey & Romeo resided in a large kennel in our garage. So that C-baby will find homes for them. Except now, C-baby doesn't like the name Romeo.So he tries on the name Jack for awhile. Until one day Pappa Bear says, "He's brown. He should be called Chocolate Moose." And so it was. It just fits him so much better.

But a house full of four cats is just a little too much for this Mom nom. C-baby has to find a place for at least one of them. My sister stepped in to save the day. We beguiled her daughter with Moose and his goofy crossed eyes, cow-hocked legs and chubby kitten Buddha belly. Little Nom's charm must've rubbed off on him a little bit, too. It all worked. Moose went home with my sister and niece on Thanksgiving.

One down.

Baby Nom is a character. She has a wiggle in her hind-end due to her cow-hocked legs. (C-baby asked me one day, "Why they call them 'cow-hawk' legs? Why two different animals?" Ahem.)

Baby Nom is adorable, as only a cow-hawked kitten can be. Her tail flips all the way up to her head when you pet her. She has amazing green eyes. The tips of her ears flair out. She looks very exotic. And she has a purr bigger than Texas.

She plays fetch with her favorite mouse. I toss it down the basement stairs, and she retrieves it and drops it near me. Over. And over. And over. Apparently in her last life she was a black lab.

She is the first of the three noms to find your warm lap and crawl up into it. She is also the first to follow us to bed at night, and will stay all night long, no matter how much egg-beating your legs are doing. Baby Nom is relational. I’m getting a wee bit too much attached to that little nommer.

It doesn’t help that Little Nom has taken a shine to her as well. Big Nom has never been one for inter-cat-affections, despite Little Nom’s many attempts, but Little Nom and Baby Nom, well, once they got over all the tail-poufing-hissing-growling-introductions, they like each other just fine. Baby Nom snuggles right up to Little Nom on the bed in their favorite sunny spot, then Little Nom wraps her paws around Baby Nom’s neck and starts grooming her, and that big ‘ol Texas purr wells up in Baby Nom and her eyes close in pure bliss. And my heart wells up with affection that only a mother can feel when witnessing that kind of maternal instinct.

So, I wonder when C-baby will be moving out, again? I sure hope she takes Baby Nom with her… (crossing my fingers behind my back).

Purrr....

Meet the Nommers - Part II of III

continued...

We didn't plan on having any more cats after Big Nom. In fact, Pappa Bear and I had agreed, "No more cats until we buy a farm." Then we would splurge and have a bunch of barn cats to catch the mice in the hayloft, and leave kittens strewn around for the visiting children to take home in their luggage.

Kali, aka “Little Nom,” showed up in our back yard, in the fall of 2008. A very tiny, very squeaky, very hungry kitten. PB and C-baby canvassed the neighborhood, posting notices on every mailbox, knocking on doors, crossing their fingers behind their backs, hoping nobody would claim her.

(please imagine a short, adorable video of Little Nom on her first day with us here. i tried uploading it, three times, on three different computers. all it did was run and run, for hours and hours and hours... and hours.)

Nobody claimed her. I cannot fathom why. She was the most adorable kitten I had ever met.

We all agree, there is something magical about Little Nom. She casts a spell on you, until you forget all of the other beautiful cats you've ever met in your life. She looks at you with her peach and black double moustache as if to say, "Who, me? Couldn't be!"

All wide-eyed innocence, that one. Kinda like C-baby. Only fuzzier.

I knew she was smart (Little Nom. Well, C-baby, too). I could just tell. So I taught her to sit up for treats. This took about two days. Soon she was sitting on command. It was adorable. She looked like a gopher, a calico-striped gopher. To top it off, she would offer up one paw slightly higher than the other, and tilt her head just slightly. At that time, she was fed downstairs, in the laundry room.


About a day later, I was in the kitchen, prepping my lunch. I glanced down at her. As soon as she saw me looking, up she went into "gopher-pose," one paw up, head tilted.

I melted. How can you resist cuteness like that?

I can't. She got the treat. And when she begged again, she got another piece. And another. Yes, it's true, my Little Nom trained me to give treats at her command. In less than 5 minutes. But you would, too, if she gave you the "gopher-sit-one-paw-up-tilt-head" pose. Don't even try to deny it.

Everything Little Nom does is adorable. The way she prefers to drink water out of a guinea pig bottle strapped to the dog gate. Or, if the bottle is unavailable, the paw-dip-lick-technique. Or the stand-in-the-water-dish-with-three-feet-dip-one-paw-and-lick technique.


The way she busts in on me when I’m in the shower, waiting until the water is shut off so she can sneak behind the curtain and rub cat hairs all over my wet legs. The way she jumps onto my lap and settles down with a big purr when I am reading a catalog on the privy (hey, it’s the only time I spend reading catalogues). The way she loves hiding in cardboard boxes and suitcases. The way she climbs to the top of my clothes drying rack, clearly the Queen of her domain, as neither Big Nom or Baby Nom will follow her up there.


The way she sneak-attacks Big Nom, inciting him to WWF moves on her. The way she wrestles gently with Baby Nom, taking care not to hurt her. And the way she holds and grooms Baby Nom, something Big Nom never allows her to do.

Only one problem about Little Nom. Now we're double our previous nom capacity. I am worried about what the landlord might say. We only have permission for one cat. We're definitely stopping at two. Until we get the farm.

Then we’ll splurge and have a bunch of barn cats to catch the mice in the hayloft, and leave kittens strewn around for the visiting children to take home in their luggage.

To be continued……………..

Meet the Nommers - Part I of III

Let me explain something. We like to make up words in our house. Or take words that exist and morph them into something they were never intended to be.

Like "nom." Nom is a slang word used on LOLcats to denote eating, biting, or food. Lolcats "nom" their cheezburgers. Cheezburgers are good “noms.” My kitten Zoey “nom, nom, noms" my shin through the blankets. Get it?

This makes perfect sense to me. When you eat something, it really does sound like you are "nomming" it. So we adopted this slang verb into our everyday language. And then mutated it another step. Into a noun (adverb? I never was much good at grammar).

I now own three "noms."



What I mean is, three "noms" live with me in this house. I'm not sure anyone ever "owns" a nom.

Their "real" names are, in order of oldest to youngest, Mojo, Kali and Zoey. But mostly we just call them "Big Nom," "Little Nom," and "Baby Nom." It's easier that way. Too many names to remember, and old brains.

"Little Nom" used to be "Baby Nom" when she was a kitten, so I always get her confused with Baby Nom now. But they just deal with it. They all still come running, no matter what we call them.

Or not. OK, mostly not.

When we moved to the country in 2008, we had one nom, Big Nom - Mojo. Or, as we used to call him, "Mojojo." I'm not sure why it's so fun to have three syllable nicknames, but it is.

Mojojo
Kali-Cat
Zoey-oh-ee-oh (ok, so that's 5 syllables... never was much good at counting, either).

Big Nom is Pappa Bear's cat. He picked him out from a rescue litter. His previous name was Nova. (Mojo's, not PB's). That just didn't fly with PB. This cat needed a better name. One with a touch of humor. "Bad Mojo!" "Gooood Mojo!" PB gets a kick out of things like that.


So Big Nom came home with us on Halloween in 2004. He likes to eat. This is his #1 priority. He has the softest, whitest belly, which has shrunk a bit since we started measuring out his daily allotments. Now his Buddha belly just swings below him like a half-empty sack of potatoes.

He has seven toes on both of his white front paws. Veritable catcher’s mitts. When he grips you with his paws, you could swear he uses them like opposable thumbs. He is very grippery.


He loves to curl up on my side of the bed, right under my armpit. That way he can wake me up bright and early to feed him. PB will sleep right through it. Big Nom knows this, he knows which side his bread is buttered on. If he sleeps on the wrong side, no butter. One time we switched sides of the bed. Just to mess with him. He slept by Kelly. But only that one night. It takes a lot to pull one over on a cat.


We didn't plan on having any more cats. In fact, we had agreed, "No more cats until we buy a farm." Then we would splurge and have a bunch of barn cats to catch the mice in the hayloft, and leave kittens strewn around for the visiting children to take home in their luggage.

To be continued.............